Te amo in Spanish and ti amo in
Italian mean I love you. But what kind of love is meant by this? We Germans
like to separate friendship and love. We are either friends or in a partnership.
And we connect partnership with love. Quite clear! Black and white. No further
questions. Amen.
Stop! From
my own experience, I’d like to report that there are actually many vibrant
colours in between. There is a kind of love that is stronger than friendship
but not a partnership. Te amo.
I came to
appreciate te amo in South America. A deep and open relationship arose
between Domi from Argentina and me. Not a partnership, but way more than a
friendship. That means, lovingly letting the other get close to you without
immediately thinking of sexuality. I believe this is the key to te amo.
Of course, you can’t do it with just anyone. It’s a gift. And if you’re lucky
enough to receive te amo as a gift, you should have the courage to
embrace it.
I met Domi
at a performance workshop. We immediately hit it off. So, I asked the great
dancer if we wanted to work together. She said YES straightaway. During
rehearsals, Domi and I dealt with each other very openly and freely. Everything
flowed naturally and respectfully. I really relished it. When we performed ONE
for the first time in January 2015, the spectators were amazed. “Wow, that was great!
Such an open and genuine rapport.” That was also the reason why the jury of the
International Theatre and Scenic Arts Festival in Seville awarded us first
place.
Domi went
back to her homeland and invited me to Argentina. In Buenos Aires, we walked
down the streets hand in hand and embraced like lovers everywhere. Absolutely
normal. Te amo style.
If you are
open to gaps between friendship and partnership, you can experience te amo
in Europe, Germany or wherever.
In autumn
2016, I met a German dancer in a café. We got on well and wanted to work
together. During the first rehearsal, she asked me to show her my solo piece. I
was happy to, of course. As I finished my dance, tears were in her eyes. She came
over and gave me a kiss on the lips. I was startled and enjoyed it at the same
time.
What had
happened? When the heart overflows – whether with joy or sorrow – tears flow.
And when the heart reigns, we frequently do things the head would often say no
to. From this point of view, te amo can also be considered the language
of the heart.
Anyone who
thinks it only works between different sexes is wrong. I also have a lot of
male friendships with a te amo character.
If we dig
deeper, we discover more insights.
In the
1990s, I worked as a youth leader at the YMCA in Saxony-Anhalt. Among other
things, my task was to give older colleagues a send-off into retirement. So, I
organised little parties. And as it goes, you ask what their funniest
experience was, etc. To the question, “What would you have wished for?”, 95%
replied A HUG. That got me thinking.
While
researching, I stumbled upon the book Human Touch by Rebecca Böhme. In
it, she explores the importance of hugs and physical proximity. In times of
corona, this is frowned upon. But it is nevertheless vital. The book details an
experiment where children grew up in isolation and died after a few months.
The subject
of te amo continues to occupy me. In April 2019, I had a special experience.
I was sitting in the Frauenkirche (Church of Our Lady) in Nuremberg. My
companions were looking around the church. I was regarding the stained-glass
window at the altar by myself. Suddenly, the window opened for me, and I saw a
colourful meadow. A warm wind blew in my face and whispered, “The world needs
in-between people. People who are more than a friend and yet not a partner. And
you have been given this special talent.” Then the window shut again. I was
flabbergasted. Had I been dreaming just now? I asked my companions if they had
noticed anything strange. Yes, there had been a sudden warm wind. Wow, then it hadn’t
been a dream. And I’d finally received an answer to my question of why I was
often more than a friend.
Anyone that
doesn’t accept the gift of te amo will be the poorer for it.
Should we accept
it? Yes, even Christians should accept it. Why? As stated in 1 Corinthians 13, anything
we do without love is useless. We can only bear fruit through love. Secondly,
God became human at Christmas. That’s why we don’t need to be more devout than
God.
We are
allowed to accept love, affection, and hugs.
Te amo.